“and now he’s been away and my poor girl has not had sex in a long time”

Dog DNA Test by Embark, $159. Says Oprah: “There’s nothing better than discovering your roots—and that goes for fur babies, too. This test reveals a dog’s genetic age and info, as well as breed breakdown, from a small sample of slobber. Incredible!”

I read some of his posts in the site’s archives and laughed at post that referred to Kate Hudson as a “box of cornstarch.” Pretty take for him, but I thought it was funny

I miss Michael K’s posts on Dlisted. 

I had to read that McConaughey quote a few times...

If my body looked like that, I would have just the back 

A cape. Thankyouverymuch.

Yeah, it’s airbrushing. It’s also genetics. It’s also good health. Even in “unflattering” paparazzi pics she still looks great.

Totally.

She has a pact with someone/something.

Yeah, she was an evil old white asshole.

Love Phoni Braxton

I am fascinated by women like Shlafly. The same way I’m obsessed with serial killer documentaries on Netflix. 

“You get what you need”

Corporate and poppin’

GiGi Hadid and I have similar eating habits.

I hope they have another child and name it Miracle or Dakota

[11 people shot in Pa synagogue]

Congrats to them.