One time outside my apartment I saw a squirrel hump a dead squirrel that was in the street. I think this is the first time I've ever mentioned this to someone else.

I saw two girls run out of the restroom snickering, didn't think much of it so I continued into, what turned out to be, the cement to my phobia of public restrooms. Those two demons had gone ice skating on their used period soaked pads. I'm talking all over the floors, the walls, the stalls, the mirrors, the sinks,…

As a New Yorker I have experienced many of the subway feces sharing, smelly homeless people and public sex acts reported here today, so they seem a bit run of the mill. I have to confess, though, that I once (a long, long time ago, I was younger then) did some ecstasy, then threw up on a trainload of people when the…

New Year's Eve, 2010. After a very nice pre-game of oysters and champagne, mistercharles and I got on the #1 bus in Cambridge to head back to Boston to properly Auld Lang Syne. As we got on the bus, the driver barked, "All the way back", which didn't seem meaningful until I glanced to my right and stopped so…

Ex girlfriend and I are hiking with our puppy in Tahoe on a long trail to an east shore beach. Super idyllic, until a we hear a weird slapping/punching sound. Pass a tree only about 40 feet downhill of the trail, in completely full view, and see a guy hunched over it with one hand on the trunk and the other beating…

When I was in high school, I used to hang out in a dowtown park with my friends after class to play frisbee, mostly. This particular park always had a population of crust punk kids hanging out, usually taking a break before hitchhiking one way or another.

It's not gross as much as terrifying, but I almost plopped down upon a used needle in a seat on the #66 Chicago Ave bus. Always, always, always look where you're about to put your ass.

I FORGOT A GOOD ONE. I was on BART, during rush hour when the trains are packed. I was standing up near a woman who was sitting down. With no warning, she scoots to the edge of the seat, reaches up her dress, AND PULLS HER TAMPON OUT, it's DRIPPING BLOOD, and she STUFFED IT IN THE SPACE BETWEEN THE SEAT AND THE WALL.

At Mardi Gras, I saw a woman on a balcony shove an entire bead necklace up her vagina then throw it out into the crowd (several men competed to catch it). I also saw a different woman on a balcony, her leg up on the railing and a large piece of toilet paper hanging out of her vagina, being eaten out by a homeless man.

I was on the Boston T, a woman had a baby in a front carrier, but she was reading the newspaper, held up between her head and the baby's head. While she merrily read the baby kept touching the nearest subway pole, then putting its fingers in its mouth, then touching the pole again. Occasionally the mom would lower the…

One time I was at a house party. Everyone was drinking and there were drinks EVERYWHERE. I picked up what I thought was my 40 (it was 1998, don't judge me) and took a big swig. But it was not my beverage. It was the loogey bottle. I promptly spit it all over my friends living room, but managed to not fucking puke.…

I sat with friends in a cafe in Manhattan during a rain storm. The entire cafe was the disturbed front row audience to two homeless men having anal sex in the doorway of the house across the street. This was not a dark, seedy, NYC alley, this was a lovely, upscale little neighborhood in the middle of the afternoon. 5…

Hand to heart truth. In Amsterdam I saw a very large woman, both weight and height wise (she had to be over six foot, and around 300 lbs of fat and raw muscle? Lady was built) drop her trousers and squat against the wall of my Hotel, while relieving herself of both Numbers 1 & 2. She was using her little person…

I was a pharmacy tech in college. One guy brought in a prescription for antibiotics for a staph infection on his arm. When he gave me the rx, his wound was either bandaged or covered by his shirt, I don't remember. So while this guy was waiting for me tofill his meds, he decided he needed to check his blood sugar. I…

When I was in high school, I went into the bathroom one day to find a group of girls giving another girl a haircut. Not just any haircut, but a typical Myspace scene queen haircut. Like this.

You are so consistently good at Pissing Contest! MY STARS.

i have a twofer: at the Delancey St subway station, both these incidents occurred. either one is not really noteworthy, but a week apart, on the exact same section of platform at the same station, i was amazed.

OMG best day of English ever was seeing that guy's butt. I mean...ahem.. acting.