I hope this gets out of the greys because guys, I have the burning desire (need?) to know what is in fast food guacamole, like Taco Bell’s. They can’t be doing it like this from avocados daily, can they? There must be some kind of preservative or substitution? I’ve tried to eat it like three times now and each time my…

Ugh I live most of the time in Alabama right now and that’s where my obgyn is. As I approach the babymaking stage in my life I dread having to sit down and have this talk with him, essentially acknowledging that me valuing my health is shady or abbhorant somehow. Given the slapdash rollout of these laws I’ve got to…

In addition, drop him some kudos on how fantastic his turn on Broad City has been.

Right? What else would it be?

Does he also insist on making babies sleep on their stomach and letting baby ride shot gun while no one wear seat belts because he refuses to be told what to do?

Das Baby

Babe-y 2: Kid in the City

All these TRAP laws sound like timed fetch quests from the worst kind of video game. If you want to take control of your healthcare all you need to do is bring the magic scroll to the dragon's lair between the hours of twilight and moonrise and slay the b- oh, you already bested that dragon? Well, come back tomorrow…

In spite of all the roles he's taken to purposely distance himself from being a heartthrob, I love every incarnation of Leonardo DiCaprio from the pee drinking shut-in, to the sadistic slave owner to the ultimate douche-bro. I see through your attempts to make yourself unlovable, Leo! But my lady boner goes on and…

aw, does that mean the Missy Elliot I purchased from Amazon was a fake??? I thought the craftsman ship was a little shoddy. I'm going to give that seller such a 1 star review.

Tease it to Jesus

I'm super pale and wear SPF 15 on my face everyday. And yet, god forbid someone wants to sit for lunch outside or the dog is picky about where she dumps, I am going to burn a little. Last weekend I had to do some work out in my yard so I put SPF 50 on my FACE waited a half hour and STILL got such bad blistering on my…

My fucking thing to make poached eggs in. I literally tried every strategy known to man before shelling out for it (Puns, I got 'em!) I love poached eggs more than anything on the weekend, dude.

I immediately imagined myself flicking those toy plastic fetsuses through an imaginary goal post and then laughed while thinking about the look that woman would in response. Save me a seat in the hot tub if you get to hell before me.

I don't know, my nutrition and weight loss goals are definitely tied to my period. I have notes on my meal planning/shopping calendar (real, made from trees calendar) to remind me to buy and eat yogurt (which I hate) and dark leafy veggies the week of my period, which I only get every three months. I retain water…

I had a Scottish Fold who was incredibly chill and yet at the same time neurotic as all get up. You could toss her over your shoulder and just like do chores with her draped there asleep, but she also hoarded hair ties and earrings in a nest like a goddamn magpie and if anyone ever sneezed around her she would freak…

I did this to my younger cousins one time too! They were teasing me about sleeping late on a family vacation when I was like 16-17 and I wagged my finger like a hag placing a hex and said something like "When YOU are a teenager all you will want to do is sleep! You'll sleep for days at a time!" Informative, but…

I mostly keep cereal around as a substitute for chips when I get crunchy cravings. Fistfuls of Special K and Chex are probably better for me than an equal quantity of Doritos. But then I eat crackers, cheese and deli meat for breakfast, so?

I hate the food here in Alabama. "Ranch dressing", I'd believe it. Outside of Birmingham and the seafood on the coast (which is good, but can be matched easily by any other gulf coast city), it is mostly chain restaurants or bland family-style restaurants that serve the same thing as the chain restaurants. I just read…

I would put money on Connecticut or Rhode Island having more Italians and Italian restaurants per capita (definitely per square mile) but New York having the greatest number, for sure.