“Hey Tawmmy!  Go get daddy a bee-ah!””

I feel like everyone buried the lead here.

Ah, yes, the three-minute penalty.  Well known among true fans of the game.

That’s not swearing - that’s just St. Louis Blue language.

And this generic, mediocre 2nd amendment enthusiast has a Facebook profile that says he went to the “school of hard knocks.”

You know if they did this, the winner would somehow end up being....Gary Fucking Bettman.

Yessssss. One of my most anticipated Deadspin articles of the year.

you left out the Boston fan who wrote in to complain that the ratio of f-bombs to racial and homophobic slurs was inappropriately skewed toward f-bombs

I just want to point out, in case any of these NIMBYs stumble their way over here, that while yes “Federal law prohibits obscene, indecent and profane content from being broadcast on the radio or TV” (great job copy/pasting that straight from the FCC’s website!) it gives wide latitude to accidental occurrences.

I always assumed the angry emails after St. Louis cup victory would go something like “there’s way too much swearing, it’s WICKED AWFUL and my kids Sean and Tommy shouldn’t have to listen to this...”

Bruins fan here.

Well, they’re legally adults but they act like children. 

That one hit home, and I’m not even a Giants fan.

Bryan:

This is a better joke than finding out what’s really in your Coke.

Whoa. Harvey Keitel is in it. Wtf man. 

I miss Skinemax movies.  Hot ladies getting naked every 15 minutes, what’s not to like?  Where art thou, Gabriella Hall?

He really needs to get that dishonorable discharge looked at.

he follows his sister’s advice and visits a therapist who encourages him to replace the alcohol abuse with sex