When I was super skinny I used to answer honestly when people asked me "how I stayed so skinny hahaha": "Cocaine and disordered eating", I answered. And it was the truth. It freaked them out. I worked in a gentleman's club at the time and needed to be teeny. But it really freaked me out when people assumed that I was…

This actually brought tears to my eyes.

Love this and your relationship with your hands!

"So here's where I come down. It's exactly the same as my opinion on the "obesity epidemic," in fact. You can think critically about the system without criticizing the human beings affected by the system."

We brought some booze with us (it was in India) but we ran out. At one point - I kid you not - we were drinking my girlfriends cough syrup. Did I mention we're in our late 20s? (And, apparently, alcoholics.)

Your cup of social graces runneth over. Thumbs up.

I read this as first as "I got drunk with David Caruso" and got really excited. If I got drunk with David Caruso I would probably make him take his sunglasses off in a dramatic fashion like hundreds of time. And fall over laughing every time.

I just reject any wedding functions where booze isn't present. I recently - with all of my friends - flew half way around the world and spent a fortune to attend a dry freaking wedding. It wasn't a cultural or religious thing either, it was a "we're not going to spend money on a bar."

What was the strategy here? "Hey, this is a big deal. Let's shoot for Vogue! Call Anna Wintour. What? Anna says no. Okay, whatevs let's just go on mom's show."

A pilates bachelorette party? Between this and the bridal party boudoir shots...

Every time I see Nicholas Hoult's name, I need to go "NIC HOULT! NIC HOULT!" a la Steve Holt ("STEVE HOLT").

THANK YOU.

It's scary for non-"old" folks (am I non-old? I'm 27? I dunno....). Get in touch if you need to vent! Or go here - I blog about my loony OkC experience, which started about 3 weeks ago: http://uh-oh-cupid.tumblr.com/ (I'm not self-promoting, I really believe humour/company is the best medicine!)

Dogs causing a ruckus? You've got maids killing heirs with motherfucking lilac soap.

I know! And apparently blow jobs are the new second base.

I went through my 14 year old cousin's phone (not in a creepy way, she told me to so I could see a photo of something). She had sent all of these tit pics to guys. After like, nothing. A simple "Show me ur tits" text. If you're a teenage boy now you can just text a girl and get some boobs?

"I think it comes down to who owns the image? The person with the dick or the person receiving the dick."

Urgh. This infuriates me. Yes, they're shaming people who send and receive dick and tit pics as part of perfectly normal sexual relationships.

To Kickstarter!

The guy wears a fedora? I'm SHOCKED. SHOCKED, I tell you.