My grandmother had a similar marriage. She loved my grandfather but he definitely wasn't an easy man to live with. He passed away a few years ago. Now she has three - THREE - boyfriends who take her out to dinner, take her dancing, take her on European vacations. Nana gets more action than I do.

I, for one, am looking forward to getting older and not having to worry about the stupid bullshit Youngs are supposed to worry about. I know older women have a whole new set of bullshit to worry about but at least it will be a change of pace, you know? Because this is getting tedious.

I will be using this gif basically every day now kthanx

Sans the fuzz. Real women wax!

I guess. But then it's like you're fucking someone with a peen for a head and no torso. I know sexual fetishes range far and wide but I've never heard of that one.

My college-age self would have said "get drunk". I'm old enough now to recognise that this is bad advice but not old enough to suggest any alternatives....

Ugh, so I intended to launch my OKCupid profile tonight. I did write it all. But I haven't published it. Instead, I've been working on my super negative and snarky OKCupid Tumblr page and Twitter account. There is something wrong with me. I'm like Nick Miller! I've got something bad inside me!

Are you managing their ad campaign?!

Yay! I always wanted to win at Internet. I'm about to print this, cut it out and pin it on my PJs (they have cats on them like the bad ass I am).

Me too! Except I get this when I rock up at 10am......

Yes! I can't write in the mornings. My best writing gets done between 5pm and 10pm. Everything before that is 5 minutes of work for every 30 minutes of dicking around or drifting off.

Ugh, as a night person I went back and forth SO LONG between "writer" and "dictator". My guidance counsellor won out in the end, I guess, and I'm now a writer, not a brutal dictator.

I'm sorry but none of these are anywhere near as disturbing as the BoobVagPeen (not official name).

I'm sorry. I went to college in PA. Lion's Head was the shit beer of choice and Natty Light doesn't hold a candle to it.

Okay, so I'm trying to work out the wording on my OKC profile. I'm 27, almost 28. I have been dating/having sex casually for like 12 years, with two long-term relationships thrown in. I'm not a girl who's like a few dates = a relationship. I'm actually a bit of a commitment-phobe. But I'd also like to flag the fact…

Frat boy 1: "She was such a shitty rape, bro." Frat boy 2: "Oh, yeah". Frat boy 1: "Yeah, not only didn't I cum but campus police say, technically, I can't even add that rape to my bedpost cuz I didn't cum" Frat boy 2: "Have a Natty Light, bro."

No, I totally get this. My dad always monitored ketchup use like ketchup is made of gold. I've been living on my own for almost 10 years and I've finally gotten to the point where I'm like "Maybe I'll use up all of the ketchup on my plate but....MAYBE I WON'T!!! MWAHAHAHAHA."

I realized I was rich ("rich" = some institution was fool enough to give me a line of credit at a ridunk interest rate) when 1) I accidentally put some super-fancy microwave mac-and-cheese in my basket and 2) I decided was worth it to just pay the 6 dollars rather than tell the cashier "no, I do not want 6 dollar…

THIS: "No one is trying to get between you and your dick pics, people. If you ASK for a dick pic, it's perfectly fine. This is about unsolicited pics."