Playbook

...it will be arguably the biggest win in American soccer history.

I, like most sane sports fans, only sort of half-watched the U.S.-Ecuador match

Sorry to spoil the party, but if Paraguay play anywhere close like how they did last night, they are going to clean our clocks. They kept Colombia on their heels with 10 men and came close to the tying score a few times late.

Because he hit that Ding-Dang-Dong, Harper gets to stay at the world-renowned Plaza Hotel.

What a bunch of Dombasses.

This is a man full of great ideas.

Honestly, I would expect most everything to go over Valbuena’s head.

I know kung-fu, chow mein, and i’ve seen Hulkamania three times, once in slo-mo.

One would almost think that Moyes is a Real Sociepath.

So, one of your constant, ongoing beefs with MLS is that it’s a league of mediocre talent and over-the-hill stars looking for one last payday (which is true), but as soon as they acquire a truly gifted player in his prime, your answer is... send him back? Jesus, Billy, you’re so far up your own ass with this MLS hate…

Clint Dempsey vs. Juventus.

Real Madrid overpay for everyone, yet were happy for Di Maria to go, and sure enough, turned out to be a huge bust and now United are offloading him to PSG at a £12m loss in just 11 months.

“when Holiday banged in a deflection from eight yards to give the Americans the 3-0 lead”

“Can you take a 10 million dollar pay cut?” “Hell no.” “Ahem (blows pitch pipe, sings tune to insurance jingle) ♪ TAKE THIS FUCKING PAY CUT NOW ♪ “

hard to stop a bicycle kick like that IMO

How is anyone supposed to defend a bicycle kick like that?

Being wrong about Michael Bradley is still the #1 way to let people know you only started “watching soccer” at the last World Cup.

We were very disappointed to learn of this incident. The racial slurs, ugly stereotyping, and profession of love for Slurpees are in no way, shape, or form indicative of our schools, our fans, or our communities. We do not tolerate racism or brain freezes. Our schools and our communities are working and will continue…

I don't think any WNBA teams will be hiring Thomas anytime soon.