I did the exact same thing once at The Cheesecake Factory. You should have seen the look on that god damn kid's face when I bought up all the cheesecakes in the place. The resulting Chapter 7 bankruptcy was so worth it

I've seen fire throwers and I've seen rain.

Depends.

Streaming video has gone too far.

go fuck yourself.

[Ray and Janay Rice walk into the commissioners office to find Goodell sitting in a large ornate chair]

There wasn't a dry eye in the house, except, you know, one of his.

If this is the honest version then why is Michael Jordan tipping?

If you were interested in being fair, you'd have included the clarification Kelly gave when they came back from commercial—that he was simply impressed by her breasts, and that he planned to masturbate once the segment was over. A perfectly innocent explanation.

Something tells me this isn't the first blockage his chest has experienced.

[knock, knock]

A couple years ago, Lebron did something similar to show support for those who were hardest hit by the recession.

Braun: [Receives shot in the ass]

"Fuck the Kings."

Well, this just made some legless African's day.

don't worry - looks like that 2 can be pretty easily change into a 3.

Of course a $64,000 dinner tab is fake. Everyone knows Andy Reid doesn't coach the Eagles anymore.

You misunderstand, Tom. He took the first shower after the game, and the second after he fell in those tar pits.