What position do you play on your lacrosse team?

The Gators are one of two reptiles in the tournament, the other being Coach K.

Five-Year-Old Mutton Bustin' Rider: Yes, Daddy, I's hangin' on for everything I's worth, just like you tol' me. And when that mutton went down I's still holdin' on, just like you tol' me. And when the clown came and picked me up I smiled for all I's worth, just like you tol' me. And I got a little taste of the dirt…

[watches Dolan be incredibly open]

For once I wish Harbaugh wouldn't take every opportunity to shame another coach. Andy Reid is doing the best that he can.

Are you 89 years old?

You're right. We should all stop appreciating sunsets while we're at it, too. SEEN TOO MANY.

Hmmm.

A bucket was placed at his feet.

FINNISH HER!

Let's be honest, 70% of Congress could fold tomorrow + nobody would notice a difference w/ possible exception of increase in passed legislation.

Retiring at 26, huh? He must have learned that you can make $728/hr working from home! My sister did it and now she smokes all the meth she wants!

People give even less of a shit about your opinion on his retirement. Thanks for letting us know, but we do not care.

"The Chewy Chips Ahoy! Root Beef Float Ice Cream Creations"

Ugh. After listening to this, I can only imagine how shitty Ezra must have been.

Griffey's eyes are the cold, dead eyes of a man who is on his 14th commenting system of the decade.

The St. Paul Tribune reported the coach was popped by pop; the Atlanta Journal-Constitution claimed he was conked by Coke; the Melbourne Herald Sun declared he was socked with a soft drink; and the New York Post said he was assaulted by a dark-skinned youth wielding a knife.

There is no way Will Leitch wrote this. I've heard of everyone on this list.

Interviewer: Which weighs more, a pound of bricks or a pound of paper clips?