I hate my alma mater for thinking it needs to be, or is even capable of being, a good football team.

Schaino’s coaching career is like some kind of infection that just resists all attempts to make go away.

“Oh, so you give HIM a chance to get back on his feet, huh?”

That’s because you collapsed from heat exhaustion within sight of the finish line!

Sounds like perfect weather for a prestigious quadrennial soccer tournament!

It can’t be fun for Lakers fans to realize that their title hopes rest on “Well, we know what LeBron and AD can do ... now, if only Dwight Howard can get his shit together for 82 games plus the playoffs.”

I think you’ve now proven via logic what we’ve all long suspected: people at all levels of government with access to classified information actively withhold information from him (or otherwise play dumb with him regarding what information they actually have or can provide) because they know he’s unfit for office.

Think about this:

So a Welshman, an Englishman, and an Irishman walked into, then out of a bar?

“You Must Be Sure You Wanna Taste It” may sound like the worst possible slogan for something you want people to drink, until you imagine some giant Slavic dude in a track suit declaring “I am for sure to taste you” before opening it with his teeth.

Explain to me how someone gets a nickname as bad ass as “Homicide” ?

I guess as a non-soccer fan, red card doesn't quite say very much. What did he get the red card for?

Don't tell us *why* he was suspended, or anything. We're all just huge Wondolowskiphiles who've been following this case intensely.

The actual Tomsula Index is a list of businesses that will let you use their bathroom without having to buy anything. 

Fun reminder, Tomsula had a better record with the Niners than Chip Kelly.

Granted this may be more of a commentary on my own reading skills, but that took me three attempts to read and comprehend the point Billy was trying to make.

That first sentence-paragraph is... just... wow.

You sweet summer child. 

I can’t believe the Patriots went to all this trouble to beat the Dolphins.

A) Good