Not a one of these could convince me to give up the wallpaper I've got now (and have had for nearly a year now): Lee and Clementine from The Walking Dead.

Interesting. A book full of scraps of things that happened to him. If only we had a word for this . . .

Literally everyone knows this. And literally everyone I know (and I live in the US) can use the metric system, so don't patronize us with you're unfounded elitism.

Kelvin or GTFO

There is a reason the US won't switch: $$$

Checked how is defined farenheit right now? Used to be 0 brine freezing point and 100 average human temperature, now the formal definition is 32F is water freezing point and 212F is water boiling point... the 0 and 100 of the celcius scale, just with seemingly arbitraries start and end. That you are used to it don't…

Ugh. I hope the US never ever switches to Celsius. It makes no sense whatsoever as a temperature system for weather.

Former MLB star and fitness baddass Ricky Henderson used to work out even while watching TV. Ricky Henderson claimed that's how Ricky Henderson was able to have such a long career. (he also spoke in the third person a. lot.)

Stupid statement for your # 1. It is those who do give a fuck, or a damn, who succeed (sometimes) in changing the world!

Whitson Gordon, I think your career in philosophy might be a wash.

The rest aren't bad but yeah - I think the world would be a marginally better place if a few more people just gave the occasional fuck from time to time.

"Hard work beats talent, when talent fails to work hard."

Your wife may talk a lot, but I'd hesitate to generalize this to all women. The assertion that women talk more than men has been pretty thoroughly debunked.

Communicating with your significant other is never easy?

I'm not the type to buy into conspiracy theories about media companies trying to take away ownership of everything, but it's a pretty well known fact that they control how and when we get access to media. Usually, that's fine, but every once and a while it really seems to screw with you.

Bonus: Don't assume your partner, either gender, will automatically conform to these ways of conversing. Better, don't assume these suggestions are for only men or only women. No one should throw advice around all the time, everyone could do with a little prodding on how they want to be responded to.

You probably don't need most stuff you own, but that doesn't mean you still can't be concerned with it.

Not trying to play the race card for trolling, but the truth is, unfortunately, most of these tips don't work if you're black. Just look at the recent case of the black boy who got arrested after buying a designer belt for $350 because the store clerks and the police thought that was too expensive for him to afford…

Thanks, GAwker, for one snark-free story for Xmas. Happy Holidays to all.