Some guy walked by me with a dog that licked my face.

Does anyone know how to become a contestant on Shark Tank?

Fuck this noise, at this rate I’m going to sign up for whatever online package the KBO League has and revel in all of its bat pinwheeling and somersaulting, pop star pitching glory. I know our country was founded by Puritans, but the day we get out celebrated by a nation that thinks blaring megaphones is a realistic…

One of my favorite things about Beyonce is how perpetually uninterested/uninvolved in other people’s shit she is. Like oh, you all are breaking the Internet over the VMAs? Hell if that’s getting in the way of my pool time.

A-fucking-men! It was 100% his responsibility to make sure that he had a relationship with his own children. Even if Goldie did try to prevent him from seeing them, he should have gone to court to at least get visitation. He didn’t because he didn’t care, but now it is convenient to play the victim.

“There’s no love involved. It’s like a factory,”

GOD FORBID THE PEOPLE OF THIS SHIT COUNTRY CANT TUNE INTO ANOTHER SVU MARATHON OR A CRAPPY REALITY TV SHOW OR SOME AWFUL MOVIE ON SCI-FI!! ALL SCI-FI AIRS ARE THE FOLLOWING MOVIES: T2, ID4

Thirteen million people watched the Two and a Half Men finale on the CBS Network. What the hell happened to this country?

It is amazing to me how consistently stupid Microsoft has been since entering the console business.
"Let's release Mech Assault 2 a month after Halo 2 releases and three days after Christmas. What? It didn't sell? Kill the franchise!"
"Let's pump money into Mistwalker and have our own JRPG machine. Eh, Blue Dragon and…

In defense of D'Souza, like many Christians and how they interpret the Bible, he's a bit selective on his "facts."

"Aaaaaaaaaayyyy!"

This article is clearly propaganda for empirical, evidence based ideology, and logical critical thought.

My Brazilian friend made $91,666.66 per minute working less than 1 hour! No college degree required. To find out how, just go to this website: www.BigOrangeBBall.EZMoney.com.

"I'm just here so I won't get Fine'd."

Anything that trended on Twitter, lit up Facebook, or created national headlines?

Penn State's students continue to embarass themselves, Deadspin posts articles to that effect often. All universities have student bodies that raise huge amounts of money for charities, found charities, solve the world's problems, etc. That's not an achievement, that's what the youth of the world is expected to do…

Kind of reminds of when I went on a cruise that visited Belize. We went on a tour when that was our day in port, and saw how insanely poor Belize was. People had houses with three walls and a roof, made of cardboard, milk crates and pop cans. One thing the poor people in Belize did take pride in, though, was their…

Whoa whoa whoa....hold on...there were enough people at a Marlins' game to take part in a handjob AND videotape it??

Dude looks like Mark Prior.