my favorite memory about NOLA was on the trip from the airport down to the french quarter and my driver said:

calm down, corona

5' 11" is like the tuesday of heights. every day has a ‘feel’ except tuesday.

don’t bubble-gut me, sir

kyle alexander was just happy to be nominated

action park was the only ‘water’ park that when you left you were sticky.

he tried to make it sound like playing college football for him was a bond on par with marriage—you know, except one side of the relationship has all the power

oh for sure - i’d love to check out the new cubs stadium. to be fair the face value on the tix i got were like $55 (i bought 4) and they were literally front row on the first base line. 

tickets to the game

i live literally a few miles from diablo stadium (which, ironically, is the home field for the angels’ cactus league team). when i moved here, tix were like $5 - last time i went i paid over $200. you can talk analytics all you want but the bean counters still want more beans.

I am a loosely professional journalism person

oh this is fantastic. +1

but what does success look like to you? how will we ever know?

based on experience is just a fucked up way of saying ‘has a penis’

nobody said it was easy...

this is why i only grow gummi bears

this dog is better than 99% of the asshole 12-14 year old kids in my neighborhood

username checks out.

wait till teller here’s about this bullshit!

pretty easy - just grab ‘em by the hot dish