i think toby needs a nap, or a juice box.

holy shit! i was in the back wearing a shirt that said ‘i’m not a gynecologist, but i’ll take a look’

you went all in on potash? please tell me you live near oak ridge

it’s always fun to see multi-millionaires mock each other 

a mixture of steroids, painkillers, and maybe a chemical imbalance in the brain would lead to pretty bad shit. but you probably aren’t speaking strangely about potential CTE

my friend’s daughter was a cheerleader for the chiefs, she was also a CPA. most of these women are pretty fucking smart people that will start to let it be known how terrible their working conditions are.

the end confused me. wasn’t sure if i was watching an old episode of the arsenio hall show.

why is there a part of me that wishes you changed your handle to 50ShadesOfGraysAnatomy?

i know, right? it’s like he somehow figured out a way to melt brie in his mouth

From: Sarah Fountain

okay smart guy - why do they call it ‘horse’ power?

my apologies, will.i.am had a song called let’s get retarded, hence the question mark. if you just look at words and don’t understand the fucking context, you know, maybe don’t fucking reply.

are you fucking kidding me? what if he said you shouldn’t be retarded (apologies to will.iam)? it’s not public bullying. it’s letting people know they can’t just say dumb shit out of a fucking archie bunker episode.

he can’t ‘hit’ a curve ball.

if he just would’ve put JOBU on his shoes this all could have been avoided.

young dolph needs to come out with a new song called ‘get severance pay, young nigga’

you lost me at vegan muffin

cocaine skip?

On the second day of christmas my true love sent to me
Two leaking lemons, and
A partridge in a pear tree

if there’s a shamrock shake involved i’ll co-sign