There was a guy I was into in between high school and college, but I knew that I was about to meet a ton of new people so I told him I didn't want to officially "date". Still, we basically talked as if we were dating. Then within a few weeks of getting to college I met someone that I really enjoyed being with, was in…
One time I got broken up with by my long-time crush after officially dating for one whole day, yep. He strung me along for a long time before that happened. He broke up with me while in his car, after a party. (so I was drunk on 2 40oz of Cobra I think) He said we would never work together or something, I mostly…
Ugh I don't have any bonkers ones. But there was this time in college I had been dating a girl for like a week and wasn't feeling it, so I went to her place to break up with her, but before I could break up, she started breaking up with me and I had to defend myself.
Like no no no no wait, I came here to break up…
My abusive then-girlfriend (I'm a woman) was a month away from moving in with me when she told me that she was having "feelings" for someone else, a friend of hers. She said nothing had happened, but she was now doubting our relationship. Cue a month-long hellish ordeal where we break up, get back together, break up,…
Okay. So it's funny now, but at the time it was infuriating.
One day I overheard a girl yelling at a boy on the (pay)phone with the same name as my boyfriend. Being a one stoplight town, I was curious and asked her his last name. Turns out, she was yelling at her/my boyfriend. We hitchhiked to his house (with a super creepy dude) and upon knocking on the door, discovered he was…
I shoved my wedding ring down my exes throat!
The pathological liar ex (I have posted about him before) and I had a relationship built entirely on dancing, fights and sex. It took me forever to understand that he was cheating on me, and I accepted his increasingly wild stories about his "friend" who was just "really emotionally fragile right now" and who I kept…
Once had a girl in high school breakup with me via Word document saved on my family computer, circa 2002. It was saved in a folder she named "Read after Prom" that she created like 5 minutes before we left for the damn event.
This was not my proudest moment, but when I got dumped by a guy who had sworn eternal love just long enough to hook me and then stomp on my heart, I called a florist, had them cut the heads off a dozen long-stemmed roses and deliver the wrapped-with-a-ribbon box of stems to the asshole during a long business meeting…
A high school boyfriend broke up with me on February 12, 2 days before Valentines, via text, DURING school. He forgot to cancel the flower delivery on Valentine's though, and then just decided to give me my Valentine's presents "anyway".
One of my exes was into medieval reenactment and at one point bought me a throwing axe, which I got to be pretty good at. When I dumped him, he went to my room and grabbed it, then fell to his knees baring his throat and offering it to me while begging me to "end it now." I laughed so hard I staggered backwards and…
One boy broke up with me on a three-way call with his friend (ah, '90s tech). He called a few hours later to see if I'd drive him to a party.
My naive 18-year-old self wasn't the best at separating a guys interest in dating me with his interest in sleeping with me. I was also a virgin, or at least I was until I started hanging out with my manager from work. Since he was my manager, our hooking up was hush, hush.
Dearest MoGlo,
That clown story was wonderful! I laughed out loud at Starbucks and now the slack jawed yokels are looking at me like I am crazy. But it is worth it. Clowns.
He does steal a baby and threaten to turn it into a goblin. And he poisons her. And he kicks one of the goblins right in the goblin dick... sooooooooooooooooo.
Hello Jareth. Why Don't You Take A Seat Over There...
There is always a Sarah. There is always a child. There is always a . . . lighthouse?