Not great. And they mostly work by poisoning you.

I’ve been fucked over waaaay too many times by airlines and weather/scheduling/computer failures/etc to trust airlines enough to split up the family.

What happens when one parent’s flight makes it but the other juuuust misses their connection and won’t get there until six hours later, at the earliest?  I’d much rather…

Justice Kennedy, I wish you a long and healthy retirement. I want you to shock your doctors with how healthy and cognizant you are well past your hundredth birthday.

Lady, you want the kid selling water to pipe down, take $60 downstairs, buy the whole case off of her, and ask her to take the rest of the day off.

It shouldn’t matter, but in all fairness, timely use of that medication is even more essential for someone in the middle of a miscarriage, as the longer you have a dead fetus in you, the more danger you are in.

Too much Botox to show emotion. 

I was going to make a joke that “well, someone has to design the handmaid and wife outfits!” but this designer obviously isn’t up to the task. 

They feel like they can guilt-free fuck liberals, because they’re all heathens living in sin anyway.

Technically, you can make any object with a dark interior into a (classic) camera. Ever do this gradeschool science projects of turning a cardboard box or coffee can into a camera?  

Also the black allclad pots and pans, to my extreme dismay. They must be made of something different these days or dishwashers are different, because my mom’s black pots went through her dishwasher a million times. But when I bought one for myself, I ruined the finish the first day in my dishwasher. 

If you’ve got a machine that will cleanse food residue, awesome! But I’ve always lived in homes with old machines and VERY hard water, all of which means I need a super quick swipe with a sponge if I want clean dishes coming out.

Another awful note on top of all of this: nearly half of Central American babies are breastfed until age 2.

Apparently she really loves her tacos flavored with spit?

Why the hell is he lurking around the pool in a polo and pants anyway? He obviously wasn’t there to swim. They should have at least made sure he was a guest and not some random creeper.

Honestly, I’ve never worried about it because I *was* the super picky kid. And now I’m what you could basically call a foodie if I just stopped to photograph more food before I shove it in my face.

I’m a super-taster too, so I still delight in the flavor of a bowl of plain rice and chicken broth even though I’ve…

Logically I should be mad about this, but I am totally ready to accept whatever stupid comic-booky bullshit excuse they use to bring the ONLY non-sucking Steve Trevor back.

My brother once saw a crashed chicken truck on the highway.

The issues with the term “natural childbirth” are why I prefer to call it “unmedicated childbirth.” It’s a lot less judge-y

Early doctors were a big problem, but women died all the time in childbirth even when only women were allowed at the birth. It’s very simple to research this. It was very normal for a woman to write her will before giving birth (even with midwives) because death was so common.

I’m in some mommy groups and first time moms often make these super detailed birth plans. I’m like, “they’re good for your own education, but don’t expect the medical providers to give a shit about them.”