"Said your mom"

There are 9 letters in "Dani Alves." His number is 22. Villa Real had scored 2 goals at the time the banana was thrown. 22 divided by 2 is 11. 9/11. Wake up sheeple.

which was about as daring and improvisational a play as the sport allows.

Nah. It was his record 15th goal.

Nope... he's saying "15" because he (at that point) broke the record for most goals in a Champions League season. He went on to score #16 later.

It's for being the first player ever to score 15 goals in a Champions League season (now at 16 and counting, btw...)

dumb. saying 15 'cause that was his record breaking 15th goal of the season.

No, He can't count that fast. He's counting to 15 which is the record he just made for goals in a Champion's League campaign.

He is counting to 15 which gives him the record for goals in a champion's league campaign. No matter if they win the final, CR7 got what he wanted. What a dick.

Yes, he just set the record for most goals in a CL campaign with 15

clearly celebrating his record 15th goal this UCL campaign

Dana Snyder (voice of Master Shake) and Donald Sterling have the same initials. #ILLUMINATI

Dick Dastardly and Muttley's #00 was routinely the fastest car on grid, but they never won a single race.

I prefer cars vs cars

Opulence. I has it.

Two leading proponents of the "One and Done" strategy

What is it about Ashley Wagner? I keep staring at her like one of those god damn Deadspin bear videos. Don't get me wrong, she's not bad looking, but she's certainly not Scarlett Johannson hot. She looks more like a sexy Applebees waitress. Yet I'm hooked. Maybe she can get me some of them boneless chickens.

This is what the hell happened to that Lamborghini in London...

He's on dialysis. (Seriously.)