I vote for Jennifer Coolidge.

I am forever grey so nobody will read this, much less the Bennifer, but if they are splitting up I am so, so sorry that they have to do it in the public eye. Divorce sucks balls and is often excruciatingly painful, even if it is the best decision for everyone involved. To have prying eyes watching that happen would…

You are an American hero.

I actually kinda feel for Johnny. Here is my Totally Doesn’t Know The Guy feeling about all this. He started drinking too much. Vanessa was like ‘this is bullshit, Depp. We have kids. Get your shit together’ and he did what any addict would do... went into denial.

Somewhere, someplace, Vanessa Paradis is laughing her beautiful ass off. Johnny wanted younger and got this ridiculous barnacle as a wife.

Oh no, how will we ever recover from an Amber Heard boycott!

Good. Fuck off Amber! We don’t want you or your potentially disease-ridden and damaging-to-our-ecosystem dogs. Just because you married some aging, loser, scarf-monster; doesn’t mean you get to be above the laws that protect our environment.

I’m so tired of people bringing their dogs everywhere. YOUR DOG DOESN’T WANT TO GO TO THE MALL.

Seriously. I had kinda reserved judgment on her until now because it's not HER fault Johnny Depp is going through the worst midlife crisis of all time, but goddamn. What a stupid, useless twit.

Hey, Paul Walker’s daughter is the same age his on and off again girlfriend was when he met her!

Someone tried to pull that on me once after 6 months of dating. I knew what he was doing but I still left a message saying I was really worried and if I didn’t hear back I was coming over there with the police to make sure he hadn’t injured himself in his apartment. It worked and I was able to tell him off the way he…

Better for whom? It’s not like the emotional fallout doesn’t happen, it’s just that you don’t have to witness it. Generally speaking, if you’re making a choice that leads to another person absorbing a greater share of misery in order that you might be able to absorb a lesser share, it’s not an ethical choice.

Sometimes it only speaks volumes about the way the person who ghosts you handles communicating with others. Sometimes you’re just misfortunate. I am not arguing for Sean based on his past, but I hate the argument that people generally deserve mistreatment. I don’t think it’s true and I was ghosted once by someone the…

So it’s not just me!

Every bf I have had has ghosted me for no reason. The beauty of it was, they all would come crawling back after a few months and I have never taken them back. So satisfying.

OH MY GOD what is going on with Rocco (Madonna’s son)‘s outfit in that picture?!?! Is he 53 and a dad?

• Olivia Culpo is sad about breaking up with Nick Jonas. [Us Weekly] Well, from what I understand she kept him in chains. And made him jealous. So there’s that.
  

Twitter, along with everything else, is breaking my goddamn heart today: #SayTheirNames

Who Knew Diane Keaton Was Such a Big Magic Mike Fan?

Whatever Harley Quinn. My 3-year-old niece said “I love you” the other day. I thought she was talking to me but she was actually talking to her popsicle.