Shaw will continue to be allowed to attend his classes. However, his teachers have become concerned that maybe his dog didn't really eat all of his homework this semester.

Suspects #2 and #3 go by the names of Szmohkar and Mydnyght Tzoker.

PREDICTION: Sorority Girl will get a book deal, and the book will be called LEAN THE FUCK IN BEFORE I CUNT PUNT YOU.