Shhh! You’ll spoil the surprise.

Some people would believe anything (even the Tooth Fairy) if it helped them justify keeping more for themselves.

Since FCA’s assets exceed $100B, and Q3 profit alone exceeded $3B.

And here come the Internet attorneys!

Jerry and George (after some hesitation): “Nooooo....”

That dude was a marathoner and drank a shit-load of coffee, or so it is rumored—by me.

A masochist

Another iconic American Car Brand will die soon.

If the scam that is insurance is lessened on me by their knowing where I’m at, so be it. I’m only speaking for me, of course, and I don’t dictate liberties or policies for anyone else.

Eff this rain schmit. Where are the videos of Seattle drivers in snow?

I thought it was “choad”?

Well, that does it, then. Gadgetmobiles for all.

“A hoax perpetuated by coastal intellectuals to relocate mining jobs to lower-cost foreign countries.”

This every day. Of course, I have a Fiesta, but the mouth is still too small.

More like “Coming In... NOT”, amir—- uh, never mind.

Had it duct tape, it would still be aloft.

Even with a self-supporting polymer skin, Bruce Dickinson’s airship is more metal than you.

</CSI: Miami>

I’m at least two years away from having a first kid (currently single, although a year ago I would have said that I’d be prepping for a kid by now, but that’s its own story)