Last week my daughter (second grader) confided in me that she keeps getting 100 percent on her spelling tests “because the squiggly red lines tell me when it’s wrong.” I gave her a high five for honesty.

This would have helped avoid a moment of panic on the first day of school in my daughter’s second grade class. The teacher asked a student to tell his parents something. The student replied that his parents weren’t there. I could hear the panic in the teacher’s voice as she asked, “Are you alone right now?" The…

We made smaller versions of the backpack idea, using zippered pencil pouches. We gave the kiddo one or two of these to play with, swapping them out with different pouches whenever we stopped. This worked well when she was still in a harness car seat. Now that she’s in a booster seat, we’ve switched to the backpack.

I'm assuming the ad placement is unintentionally hilarious. 

I thought #5 was called The Han.

Our daughter once entertained herself by playing with an ice cube in a bowl. Nonstop until the ice cube melted. I just stared at her and then asked my wife, “Tell me again why we buy toys?”

I’ve always called it my Batman voice.

I’ve always (?) wondered about the etiquette for proximity. Like, in the office when someone sneezes, how close do you need to be sitting to them to be in the ”bless you” zone? And if someone sitting closer to them doesn’t say it, does it fall on you to say it?

I read your headline wrong and wondered how to name my plates when they all look the same.

This year, my wife told our 3-year-old about Mexican Mother’s Day (it was on the 10th). Double the gifts...well-played, senora.

They can be hard to find, but I’ve sometimes bought generic blank cards (pretty illustration on the cover and no message inside). In recent years though, I’ve just hit the craft store for some colorful card stock and nice pens, and made my own cards. They are definitely not fancy, but she says she likes them. (She is…

A couple that tripped me up are Thule and Britax.

Are those ages in months or years? I want to be sure I get the dosage right.

It's nice to see Ray Liotta getting work again...oh, wait...

The privacy screen on my Focus Hatchback has two rubber bumpers that prevent the screen from smacking into the rear window. One of the bumpers broke; the rubber piece that held the bumper in place snapped off (old, brittle rubber). So I used a long Technic pin and two Technic bricks to hold it in place.

I'm more concerned about the people who misspelled "apparel" despite the fact that the word appears in the ad...three times.

"Paramount"—nice one. :-)

"You can find them on eBay pretty easily."

My guess is that some of the double entendre titles don't make as much sense in non-American cultures.

First we need a CSI-appropriate pun to lead us into the opening credits: