Last night I made myself two bacon cheeseburgers for dinner, and was disappointed to learn that my wife and daughter had already eaten the two buns I was counting on. When I was done beating them and throwing them on my gun pile, I assessed the situation. I could get dressed, get in the car and drive somewhere, or I…

GET UP, Johnny Football. Cleveland needs you!

That picture is one hipster bag of douche.

“Vomit Benched for Diarrhea.”

That is fantastic. Now I have to learn to play an instrument so I can start a band called Spacious Taint.

[Written in lipstick]: OLIVIA WAS HERE

Still milder than the spikes that Darren Sharper dished out.

I don’t know, man. I think you’re selling yourself short. Based on this photo alone I’d say you’d probably cut through that writer’s room like a Sherman tank.

You know what’s worse than auto-playing videos on the Internet? Auto-playing video ADS on the internet that don’t load until after you’ve already been on the page for about 5 seconds and you’ve already started reading the sports blog post on the sports blog post website.

Hey now, Austin Rivers is more than just a Digital Media Intern.

Jacksonville then trolled Ryan by stuffing a foot up Buffalo’s ass.

Where are the Cardinals?

God wilbon will be insufferable about this.

I got one of a bear fighting a shark.

My first tattoo is Mighty Mouse, flying over my bush.
:(

Maybe Pop’s going soft on us.

It’s really about 430 touchdowns.

“Doooooooon’t caaaaaaaaaare.” -Jay Cutler