I fear you underestimate the general population's ability to forget important issues and fall for the GOP's fear-mongering bullshit come election time. 

And why does he always look confused?  

So who’re the 4 Dems who voted for this, btw?

Yay, capitalism...... 

And they start screaming at people who buy it and claim First Amendment protections. 

You could probably include all of social media there, too. 

Is this taking a plea (as in a plea deal) or entering a plea?

That’s not walking anything back, it’s just stating the truth and trying to make it *look* like he's walking it back. 

Am I missing it, but does he live in Michigan somehow or did he set up a P.O. box to claim residency just to set up a Senate run? Not saying he doesn’t have bona fides otherwise, but why Michigan and  why against Slotkin?

It’s the new "my sleeves are rolled up, to show that I'm doing work", but for assholes. 

“This case just shows that any minor inconvenience can unleash the bigoted beast from inside anyone.”

I don’t know, they sound like a bro company and could be completely serious. I mean, what the fuck are those kids supposed to drink instead? Plain-fucking-water without any extra caff, no electrolytes, not even protein powder to mix in? The fuck, dude, seriously uncool move there. Way harsh. /s

Or, perhaps only if you’re thinking of ending everything with a hellified alcohol bender.  

The Good Ol’ Boys and the band from “Road House” had the right idea: chicken-wire fencing between the performers and the crowd, it’ll keep everything where it should be.  

I gotta say, “Aubrey O’Day having sex with Donnie Jr. in a gay nightclub bathroom” is not the modern-day ‘Clue’ reveal I expected.  

If she can get enough views she’ll earn enough money off of ads to pay off the Cardi B bill.  Bam, done.  

[Insert Napoleon Dynamite “Lucky.....” GIF here]

I can’t believe you left out “ten minutes alone with him with a toolkit full of rusty, dull tools and some fire-making implements though.”  I mean, it’s kind of a bush-league error right there.  

FFS, can he fucking die already? 

Well, gotta respect the opinion.  And I’m a ginger, so I know from soullessness.