The emergency room’s personnel stared down at the young girl’s body. Something about her aura had changed. The EKG’s steady pulse gained the ineffable quality of a dirge. The lonely drumbeat of a vacant mind; an imprisoned body. A defeated Dr. Spears gripped into her surgical mask and slowly dragged it from her face.…

Twitter is basically a platform that encourages people to write unnecessarily bad haikus 100 times per day.

hey. hugs to you.

This is pretty much EXACTLY what happened to me during my parents divorce. My father was an abusive, selfish, cruel asshole who almost broke my mother’s hand (to say nothing of the years of emotional abuse. My brothers were spared that bullshit, thank god, it was just my mom & I that had to deal with it) & I refused…

saying the father had “jumped through hoops” to have a relationship with his children.

Times like this are when I miss Lindy the most.

Pretty sure because... they don’t just hand trademarks out you know, he has to be able to prove he created it.

Another issue with definitions, I'm afraid - homosexuality isn't like being outdoorsy, or spending all your time sitting in front of a TV. Where did all these people get the idea that falling in love with someone of the same sex is a lifestyle? It's just bizarre.

Concepts and inanimate objects Daniel Murphy disagrees with, ranked:

I love the name Paula for a cat! You could have told her Robin Thicke wrote an album about her!

The same thing the NFL uses..Gatorade

Hindenburg: [explodes]

We need to make this a thing, people.

Bonus points for excellent use of tags.