Shiny

I'd love to touch your username, but I musn't touch. (Also Levi Johnston self-applied the moniker)

Imma stop you right there but Kanye's North is the best North in the world.

Maybe they'll name their baby girl North.

taking bets on how many locks are from relationships that have since dissolved!

They are such an Effing blight.

"Find three unrelated witnesses"

So...investigate?

where you can just happen to run into Ethan Hawke (again)

At least Thalys suspended the guard pretty quickly. Let's face it, a lot of companies would have 'individual interpretation of rules' and 'privacy issues prevent us from commenting' and swept it away.

Holy shit you're right, what the fuck are the two wearing in the first clip. The guy looks like he raided his father's closet for a suit and his father just happens to be 4 sizes larger than him. The girl looks like she wanted to dress up as her favorite childhood doll.

I'm going to create a talk show called The Don't. It'll be clips from all the other similarly named shows that make me want to scream, followed by me hollering, "DON'T."

I would make a small purchase someplace really weird so he would get a good laugh when his next statement showed a transaction at Doggy Dogs House of Slobber or something.

FUCKING "PAN." You know his real name is Michael or Stephen or something mundane like that.

My meltdown was over food too. My junior year of college, I was so in love with a guy who was in love with me too, but in a three year relationship. He would later dump his girlfriend, date me for six months, dump me, and then get back together with his original girlfriend. They later got married.

One of my last semesters in college I had let my roommate talk me into renting an apartment at a really weird apartment complex in Austin called the Metropolis which was painted psychedelic colors and housed a lot of artistic and obviously drug friendly people. I was a middle class kid from a small town and a huge…

Hmmm

And LA residents thought they were done with bad shots once Kobe shut it down.

Ok, so this whole thing started after a bad breakup (natch. He broke up with me by telling me hid new girlfriend had "eyes like the sea after a storm" I know where that's from motherfucker! I know." So a bunch of my friends take me out for drinks and dancing, and one of them is dating one of the party bus drivers and…

My first semester of law school, final exams. I was so stressed, I wasn't eating. In fact, I weighed less then than I had since middle school.

I need to reread the secret single behavior post every Friday night to get myself pumped about spending the evening alone. I was legit excited to get home from work late so I could eat pizza and feel solidarity