I love watching these shorts right before a horrendous movie on MST3K. There was one about springs! It was a simpler, eviler, time.

I used to be an insufferable prick. Then, I bought an iWatch and now all I can talk about is this incredible piece of technology attached to my arm that also communicates with my iPhone while backing up all the while to my iCloud on my iMac, which also cost about $3,000 but it was totally worth it because my entire…

"[T]hat man is going to walk up to the SAE house tomorrow morning and hear that he no longer has a job. He is going to learn who has been working for. And through some cruel twist of fate, he has to lose the job that he has held for over a decade. He is going to lose his job because of a bus full of racist kids."

"...but also to our brothers who come from a wide range of backgrounds, cultures and ethnicities."

I was (emphases on WAS) Facebook friends with someone I knew from college who was, apparently, an SAE. His post about this incident was so insanely disgusting and horrifying that I'm tempted to post it here, verbatim, and would if I wasn't so paranoid.

A few weeks ago I said that I have never met a member or former member of SAE that wasn't a complete asshole. Like clockwork, I got SAE defenders telling me how wrong I was, that their chapters are different and that the reputation SAE has is undeserved. No, no it isn't.

To be fair, I've seen bad tourists of every stripe. I just don't want to be associated with bad Americans. I don't give a shit about bad Algerians when I'm in Japan, because they don't get associated with me.

I mean, why the fuck are you in Japan if you want pyramids?

True story: I was at Osaka Castle (it's in Japan, in case you live in space), and there was this group of typical midwestern American tourists: large, badly dressed, and noisy as hell. They enter the gate to the grounds and start loudly proclaiming, "This ain't as impressive as the pyramids!"

WE STILL HAVE A LOT OF SNOW IT IS MAKING ME SHOUT AT YOU

As someone who spends a fair bit of their academic/professional life actively trying to not piss off the Egyptian government in all of its manifestations, as they can be a little touchy about things sometimes, I must say, this was my first thought.

Those pyramids have stood erect for thousands of years, made of hardened limestone.

Knowing them, the guy probably wrote his name on the pyramid. Thought it was really dirty snow.

I love this! Late one night I caught my mom-this was many years ago-playing Wolfenstein and screaming, "FUCK YOU, NAZI BASTARDS! I'M COMING FOR ALL OF YOU!" I burst out laughing, and she was all, "What? I like video games. Now you know!" Best moment of my young adult life.

I say really sarcastic things to commercials. Out loud. Like full out mocking them. And then I laugh, because I'm hilarious. It's really tragic.

i have my own spot on a couch, nobody else allowed to sit there. I won't share my wine unless you bring food. I like going to movies and theater and travel alone.

From the perspective of a broad who's waited her entire adult life to see Sleater-Kinney, JUST DID on Monday, and has listened to nothing else for the rest of the work week....what were you expecting? It's a beautiful dream that they'd show up a list like this but in a numbers game vs. Beyonce, Rihanna et al? Nah.…

"It looks like somebody swung by Ricky's and picked this up for $19.99."

Jeopardy! ruins NOTHING. Take it back.

Presumably the photographs available are younger