+1 belated. Put down the controller.

Moonshiners is on Discovery (hillbillies moonshinin'!) and Being Human is on SyFy. Wipeout is the only thing that makes my father laugh on a consistent basis. That means something.

TV for Idiots DUAN

My mom just caught me googling myself. Never have I been so embarrassed.

I know, I'm terrible. All in fun.

Me: Honey, I'm finally ready to go see a women's basketball game.

So, I just put this in tips, and sorry if it's been mentioned already.

Hey, at least in that draft I wasn't rocked on Nyquil. BISMACK BIOMBO BITCHES!

Mike Martz. Again. Mike Martz. He hated Hanie. Always did. That's why Collins was second string in that awful game with the dirty cheese heads. But the whole system is flawed. Lovie Smith has the defense he wants. The 'bend, don't break' cover two works for this team. It really does. It just really sucks…

Merry Fuckin' xmas DUAN

As a Bears fan, I would just like to remind you that this is usually the time of year when you cram roasted chestnuts where the sun don't shine. Caleb Hanie took care of that for us this year. Merry fucking Xmas, and I hope you win COTY as expressed earlier.

His nomination is bullshit. 10,000 ladies already Met A World Piece.

Prosecutor: Ma'am, in your own words, can you describe the incident?

Yeah, you got me. This wasn't one of my finer ones. Too much of a nice guy ending. I've written like 4 since I last posted one. I felt good about this one, but it didn't receive the acclaim I thought it would. Back to the drawing board, and by drawing board I mean video games.

Editors note: This is not meant in any way to insult people of Jewish heritage. I have friends and family who are Jewish. This is all in jest. It's sad that I have to say that, but here we are.

You guys remember Hans right? My little, drunk, Jewish friend who nearly cock blocked me that one night? Well, multiple nights really. The dumb bastard got married this weekend. I got to be his best man! He got married to Isabella. Or maybe it was Lauren, I forget. But it was quite honestly the most epic…

Gather around children. Get Uncle Johnny a beer, and I’ll tell you about the greatest wedding ever. I call this one Bro Money, Bro Problems. After jumpy jump.