I disrespectfully disagree.

You're sick of trick plays in recreational football games? Hmm.

Quiet down, child.

Quiet down child.

*Inserts witty comment about masturbation, Papelbon and the word "beat"*

Adrian Peterson, world beater and son beater.

No need to be a dick.

Ah! That's what I was looking for.

Hehe, tugging at clothes. ;)

Look man, he clearly had the better pun. But as we know, life is all about being first. Unless you're with a group of friends and cliff jumping off a relatively high cliff. I'd rather be 2nd or 3rd to make sure I've established the proper technique.

I couldn't care less. Or could I?

Copycat!

So, you're saying he'll be al-don with it after 9 weeks? Not bad.

He'd be talking about it on the 5 shows leading up to yesterday. The whole "we weren't made aware" thing is a crock of shit. #inlebatardwetrust

Douche.

They're very much real.

I like turtles. After 82 people were shot this weekend in Chicago, 16 of those will never again have the opportunity to like turtles.

Damn.

#fail

Rutgers is on fire.