I knew I should have just asked the damn turtle.

I don’t get it... Would you mind explaining it to me like the idiot I am?

Drip Doctors, eh?

Well, this is a thing. Thanks for this thing. I guess.

I see he went to the “grab her by the pussy” finishing school.

Probably something like:

I was thinking more historically but I’m pretty sure she hates most of California as well.

Just imagine how she is going to react when someone tells her where pistachios come from...

At least link to the original instead of that shitty repost.

[Leader] you have a very good reputation. You are a [terrific guy/good looking woman]. You are doing amazing work which is visible in every way. I am looking forward to see you soon. As I am talking to you [Leader’s Title], I feel I am talking to a person I have known for long. Your country is amazing with tremendous…

Speaking of the White House press pool, what happened to the “Public Pool” portion of Gawker? Did it not make the transition to another site somewhere? That seems like it could be very interesting during the next administration.

And her liver. That is the only way she will make it much past 60.

Did they really charge an error the 2nd baseman? I understand you can’t charge the outfielders with one since they didn’t touch it, but the second baseman’s throw wasn’t that bad...

My theory is that Kevin actually Can’t Wait and they are forced to pull off the interstate and stop at a shady gas station.

Curt Schilling seriously thought about someone grabbing her pussy though, which is a totally reasonable thing to do.

I don’t know what I expected to happen when I clicked on “GIF” in the corner...

I’m just amazed he had his own IT department’s back. I wish my boss was like that.

Because I never get tire of this GIF and shitting on Giants Fan’s worship of EYBS, here is how I imagine them reacting last night:

This was her expression after Donald’s opening statement:

You belong on Deadspin with that level of Highlight Truthing.