JiminyCricket
JiminyCricket
4/7/20
9:39 PM
1

Yes, money is certainly a strange way to measure comfort

4/7/20
8:52 PM
13

I want my ashes mixed in with glitter and sprinkled from the ceiling onto the unsuspecting attendees while Kylie Minogue songs blast in the background.

4/7/20
8:49 PM
20

My MIL (age 82) died very unexpectedly in early January. She was all packed for an around-the-world cruise with her boyfriend. We held a 45 minute service and then a four hour catered reception with an open bar. The kind of party she would have wanted to attend. We figured we’d never buy her another birthday gift, Read more

4/7/20
7:25 PM
10

When he was asked about his past insistence that the flu was somehow more dangerous than the coronavirus, Trump said “You could say the flu is nothing to SNEEZE at.” He made a point of emphasizing the word “sneeze”
Read more

4/7/20
6:32 PM
13

That typo plus your joke are the only funny thing about today. Just fixed it but now I’m wondering if I should have left it for others to enjoy. 

4/7/20
5:00 PM
12

I ordered 8 handles of hard liquor online. Y’all do whatever the fuck ya want.

4/7/20
4:58 PM
7

There is likely an alternate universe, and in this universe there is a galaxy like our own Milky Way galaxy, and a solar system just like ours with a planet just like earth, but the only one living organism on this earth like planet and that organism is Bea Arthur. It is difficult to say how a pandemic like Sars-Cov-2 Read more

4/7/20
4:57 PM
12

I’m pretty tired of people shitting on how other people spend their time right now. “Oh, suddenly everyone’s a jogger!” “STFU about your sourdough starter!” “Who knew so many people were into knitting [eyeroll].” Lather, rinse, repeat. People have the ability to indulge their hobbies, workout routines, or start Read more

4/7/20
3:21 PM
2

78 years old. Pre-existing health problems. I wouldn’t wish a man dead, all I’m saying is this could still end well.

4/7/20
3:08 PM
7

If being on that list was tied to anything other than “money” then the U.S. wouldn’t be anywhere near it.

4/7/20
2:35 PM
17

It’s still better than London.  Not as quite as Vancouver, but TMZ looks gentle next to the U.K. tabloids.

4/7/20
11:15 AM
22

My man friend is quarantined with his ex and child right now to make homeschooling easier.  I miss him. They coparent well and she has a boyfriend, but I miss him. Read more

4/7/20
11:04 AM
46

I remember Bruce and Demi bought neighbouring homes when they split so they could coparent relatively seamlessly. If they’re still in those homes I’m sure there’s plenty of space for privacy but also no real barriers to overcome moving between them. Seems nice, I wish as hanging with my sibs right now.

4/7/20
10:39 AM
40

I was just telling my friend yesterday that self-isolating has made me so thankful that I left my ex-husband 5 years ago. Life with my boyfriend is not all sunshine and rainbows and too much bickering last week, but it wasn’t being trapped in a house with an emotionally abusive pothead. I checked the ex’s facebook Read more

4/7/20
10:28 AM
18

turns out it’s still legal to fiddle kids if you have enough money and power. i hope someone coughs on him. with a shiv. in the neck.