Damn, that’s heavy.

Personally, I’m happy that no one killed your family. And you should feel free to do whatever you want with your tongue.

You are correct. We absolutely should all have automatic registration with the option to opt-out, like some of our better states.

I’m not calling them anything. I’m using hypothetical examples of whatever type of people you think might not deserve a vote. I’m saying everyone who lives here deserves a vote, no matter what their situation. People who write in Hulk Hogan for president because it’s funny deserve their vote every bit as much as you…

Stupid people, lazy people, poor people, unreasonable people, people without access to transportation, people who have never learned where to go or what to do...

No Dragon Warrior 3? No Duck Tales? No Maniac Mansion? Hogwash!

Holy shit, Jeb is back? Dude is on my Mount Rushmore along with Lindy, Hamilton, and Charlie Jane.

Didn’t someone call him an “amplified toupee stand”? That one was great, but now I can’t seem to find it, other than in a comment.

Even non-sports fans know that Philly sports fans are worse than all other sports fans. They’re like Boston without any of Boston’s few redeeming qualities.

Instead of arguing whose sports fans are worse than whose sports fans, we should come together in agreement that all sports fans are uniquely terrible.

That’s accurate. No shame in that.

How?

Yeah, this summer was MISERABLE. I think it was enough that I’m going to get central air next year. I have finally been broken.

Yeah, I mean, we’re not where you “go” to go snowboarding. But if you just want to get out and enjoy yourself on a slope somewhere, we’ve got a few options that are just fine. I ain’t fancy.

I’m sad that I have to read Deadspin now.

Exactly.

I’m completely surprised that no one has shot one of these clowns yet. In America, where every random idiot has a gun, these clowns are taking their lives into their hands.

Man, Russians have the coolest last names.

I feel like Schilling and Anthony Weiner have the same mental disorder of just not being able to help themselves. For Weiner, it’s sexting people who aren’t his wife. For Schilling, it’s making bold wildly inappropriate declarations on the internet and then fighting everyone who calls him out. They both know that…

$11,700/yr for my 10 month old. We’re talking about having a second kid. Oof..