Be sure to lock eyes with the cop when you do it, it asserts dominance.

He was Putin the pedal to the medal to keep his engine from Stalin

Crimea river?

It’s not easy being cheesy.

As a guy who had to set up a second Microsoft account to get my home business email services, I can tell you:

Really? What a bunch of absolute snowflakes. This is the hill they want to die on? Getting vaccinated.

It’s part of their training. If they can’t earn respect, they take it.

“CHOLESTEROL

It still blows my mind that if you have a GBA Sp and a new nintendo 3ds you can play every portable game apart from the ds titles that need a gba slot peripheral.

What were their names?  Did they have hobbies?  Were they jerks?

They were very old chickens, all of whom had one day left to live. There, does that help?

how you gonna just snatch a brotha’s chain like that.

From you Dante

Wow...Where does the Jalopnik staff get their weed?

It’s the jetpack.

His name was Robert Paulson.

In death, a member of Project Mayhem has a name. His name was Robert Paulson.

I try not to use Apple products just because they’re generally inferior and inevitably give me a headache with their counter-intuitive design. :P

They’re breaking the game so it’s virtually unplayable for the next year plus?