So many stupid jokes.

What a great story. I love reading sports stories like these on Deadspin, especially before anyone attempts to find a stupid-ass joke in every single statement. Great job by the author.

Great story.

As originally created by the FA in England way back when.

Great win for Thierry Henry and the Red Bulls. I'd like to see the playoff system eradicated and the original system in place. They already have a regional club competition and the domestic cup playoffs. They should extend the American season and have a league champion by points. However, I really enjoy how much…

This is freaking awesome.

BOOM! As a Chelsea fan, watch your back".

I think they decided to only look at those 3 teams and not expand to others. Florida has a big Chelsea base too.

Win. +1

This is awesome. It's a school mascot honoring the Seminoles of Florida and the South. Instead of making this about racism and putting down Native Americans, can we just celebrate 2 old guys fighting?! And Bill Murray and Lee Corso of all people! Everyone needs to stop being so damn sensitive and stop making so much…

This guy's luck is going to run out one day. Good thing I bought his autographed football before that happens.

It's 2013. I know....I know. Take a deep breath. It's a lot to take in....Breathe in.......Breathe out. Other things you should know:

I feel some new photoshop contest coming from you guys. Like the frog one; inserting the old lady in otherwise important/meaningful photos.

Miami cancelled due to lack of interest. Ouch...not surprised. What ARE we interested in here??

I miss this kind of baseball. This beautiful part of a pretty okay sport that has been a part of my life since I was 3. Todd Helton was one of my favorite players; because he was good and (as far as I know) because he was clean. That doubt/unknown has ruined the game for me. But out of the marred pastime of this…

I hate that you hate my Heat. But lovely acronym.

Wow, these charts are interesting. Seattle's total salary is higher than I thought. And the Jets, higher than I thought as well: 29th.

Good to see DeSean Jackson talking to both of them. Great leadership. Great for Vick to do. I don't feel sorry for Cooper, but by the way he stopped defending himself, it looks like he understands what he's done; good seeing this from everyone here.

No stabs for me, thank you.

Those words from Ray Lewis make sense to me now. There are 3 coherent basic ideas in there. And with everyone's adrenaline and emotions running high before a game, they will understand every single word and feel every single emotion. Not to put down Flacco, but he must not have been into it. He's known for not being…