Ha! I never grow tired of being told that when I have children I won't be able spend money on frivolous things like whatever I have done for travel, restaurants, or new things. But an $800 stroller that sweetie will grow out of in months? That's just necessary.

The offbeat bride is a lie by etsy and the wedding industry. Are you having a wedding? You are not any more offbeat than any bride.

With such a sensitive stomach, it sounds like you aren't Coachella Boyfriend material so you probably shouldn't bother responding to the ad.

I'm 26 and was literally just sitting here, feeling proud of myself for being such a good adult today before reading this. I now see that I am not adulting nearly as well as I thought I was :(

ah, she's beautiful and elegant!

Do not get me started on the paleo diet having nothing to do with paleo diets.

Do you think it's funny? DO YOU THINK THIS MODEL IS SOME KIND OF BEGLITTERED CLOWN?

Is this a good time to use the phrase gazpacho gestapo?

My SIL was on the second season (she eliminated herself, ABC freaked out and now no one can ever do that again). She is Indian, a lawyer and lived in NYC at the time. But I know she was an anomaly. She is crazy smart and funny and only tried out to see if she could get on.

The Guardian's new food critic:

HI MARK. YOU SEEM TO BE ABLE TO WRITE AND FEEL EMPATHY! GOOD JOB.

Why hello there, Mark! I haven't noticed you 'round these parts before, but I like your style. I suppose I'll wander over here from Groupthink more often!

Say what you want, but Ke$ha is a damn genius. Musically, marketing wise, and literally. She's an IB graduate (like me!), snuck into history lectures instead of going to class, and I love her for it. Here's the Cracked list she's included on.

You know what? Fuck this, fuck everyone, torch the boats, free the horses: I love Ke$ha. I don't even care. I love her from her glittery toes to her stupid dollar sign. I've loved her since she swooned outlandishly over a short-short-clad Simon Rex in the Tik Tok video. Be well, Ke$ha!

Is she taking Best Friend applications because I'd like to fill out one. She doesn't even have to tell other people that we're besties, it could just be like between us and we'd text and LOL at stuff. It would be awesome.

I'm beginning to very much fear that I will never in my life wear a train of balloons.

I hope the IRS tags this transaction and makes sure he pays taxes on the $100k.

My mom gave me a promise ring when I was in middle school: she had re-sized my dead father's wedding band so I could wear it. Nice sentiment, I guess, but I don't know why I couldn't just have the thing, no strings attached.

God I want this to happen so freaking badly.

Part of sleepovers is waking up the next day to the breakfast traditions of other families that aren't your own.