But...but...if she's a grandma, she might accidentally give out freshly-baked cookies to North Korea instead of economic sanctions! You can't predict what Kim Jong Un will do if you give him cookies! HILLARY CLINTON'S OATMEAL RAISIN COOKIES COULD START WORLD WAR III.

Um, maybe I should seek counseling. Cause, with a guarantee that I wouldn't get eaten along with the soup, I would totally do this.

TO UNDERSTAND RAMEN YOU MUST BECOME RAMEN

I acctually used a similar tactic when I was bullied I always accepted what they said and started talking about how prefect they were sarcasticaly, it really throws them of their game they get confused, and if you are smart like me you use that confusion to strike them with a book and kick them in the balls.

"...lest I be taken unawares by a rascal." You are adorable!

We need to stop calling it "marriage." These are not "child brides."

Your privilege is amazing. How many planned parenthoods do you think they fucking have around Nigeria? Is a woman just supposed to shove a hanger inside of herself? Purposefully fall down some steps?

Only in America will a person call Mohammed a pedophile but excuse every other Christian and Jewish religious figure. If any of you think our Dear Virgin Mary was 18+ you are delusional.

As opposed to America, where we blame women for being raped, have countdowns to when teenaged girls turn 18 and conflate homosexuality and pedophilia.

That prophet also didn't consummate that marriage until she was old enough to start menstruation. Still to young by modern standards but hardly uncommon for the time. Not like the Christian Bible doesn't have similar stories that are portrayed in a positive light.

UHS diagnosed an incredibly fit, vegetarian friend of mine with gout. He actually had a sprained toe.

Don't hate on my fetus balloons. It was a baby shower.

Well they do it because it really helps all their customers who have trouble with words (as we know they so often do):

Seriously, how can we in the US somehow think we're superior to someone who excises a baby's genitals with a sharpened can lid when I might have been able to blow my load in eight seconds instead of fourteen?

Or the people hijacking the thread to discuss male circumcision.

No slouching breasts.

haha! (Please, god, no...)

I really wish that people could learn to differentiate between malnutrition and starvation.

Kind of makes you wonder what marketing ideas were rejected at that brainstorming session.

Ran out of time; this was the best I could do with your composite request.