If only those poor girls understood that your constant threat of "fucking rock hard" was in reference to their impending rigor mortis.

Somehow, it still surprises me that a guy in his position brazenly chats women with such explicit, repetitive, and not particularly creative come-ons. It's nice to know, though, that Anthony Weiner's attempts at drunk-texting honeys are just as lame as mine usually are. Except that I'm an unmarried 23-year-old and…

I bet she is. He apparently has a really 'fat cock'! He reminds these lasses of this several times. Also, he allegedly has very little trouble getting and maintaining an erection.

"Without that arm to steady himself? I guarantee it's sloppy."

James, as you can see in the video above, did not take Doyel's accusation lightly.

Shaq Calls Dwight Howard Beef "All Marketing"

The Man of Steal

Per wikipedia:

Just saw that for the first time the other day. I thought it was a pretty decent movie. In my mind the actors (especially Michael Douglas) sort of elevated a middling plot. I also enjoyed the cinematography quite a bit. I read that they made the business scenes really hectic in order to simulate a sort of wild battle…

Ditto. I'd also throw on:

Late to the party, but whatever:

The ESPN3 stream started cutting out around halftime. This was not a wholly unwelcome occurrence. That's what happens when you play a bunch of second-stringers against the best team in the world.

Oh, no big deal at all. I honestly didn't think twice about it, because the world can never have enough Hall and Oates jokes. Plus, if you knowingly took jokes from me with any regularity you'd be de-starred posthaste.

Yeah, I just figured that ESPN was a little too conservative for that. Usually their headlines are winking references to, I don't know, a Beatles song or something.

Super Edgy Headlines DUAN

I like to think the breakdown in "Freak on a Leash" is actually "Mmmbop Mmmbop Boniva" instead of whatever it actually is. And trying to figure out what it really is would cause to have to listen to "Freak on a Leash," so the world may never know.

Easiest save possible - he kicked it Slow and Low.

Despite the best efforts of its alcoholic fans and a possibly drunk lineman,

After the shouldabeen perfect game, Armando Galarraga and Jim Joyce wrote a book together.

And we suppose that those are reasons that, as Cheryl Hall reported in the The Dallas Morning News this week, about two-thirds of Americans do not recognize his name.