Normally I'd say fuck Joe West. But fuck Papelbon more. Plus West was trying to walk away and Papsmear wouldn't let him.

Dammit.

I think the stop sign speaks for all of us.

This is unfair. The Vikings' numbers are inflated thanks to the "Cardiac" column.

Things are still getting sorted out, but here's some background on Texas law, from the online statutes. This appears to be what Peterson was indicted on:

Goodell - Questionable, Lower Body injury (burns)

I wouldn't say he's elite. It says right there that he's a POS.

Wait until the video comes out.

Did the video match the story Ray Rice told you?

Ozzie Newsome: "You know. Ray had given a story to John [Harbaugh] and I. And what we saw on the video was what Ray said. Ray didn't lie to me. He didn't lie to me."

BREAKING: the NFL has hastily and retroactively promoted Cardinals linebacker John Abraham to executive.

Update: Mike Tyson Elected Mayor of Toronto

Hey, Fox needs a sports guy and Stephen A. loves punching down. Best of luck to him.

Wait what.

Thankfully "#WhyIStayed - Because he's a fine pizza ass!" never made it out of the writer's room.

Imagine how much better received it would have been if Pizza just told its own domestic violence story.

Not everyone is willing to forgive Pizza so easily....

Topping it will be difficult.

A lot of people have said a lot of stupid things about Ray Rice's attack on Janay, and there are probably a lot more to come, but I doubt we'll see even one topping pizza.