I'm thinking one of those fiberboard tubes they make decorative columns with wrapped with trailer repair tape (like you see on the sides of 18 wheelers).

Can't imagine it would be below the $500 tag to qualify—without some truly epic bribes anyway.

What IS that?

Mine was a P71. The governor kicked in at 138mph. Old detective's car so no holes in the roof or the trunk. And it still had the optional ballistic panels in the doors—not as cool as it sounds. Just try getting around those when the regulators go out.

They're not bad cars actually. I've driven few of 'em. A little underpowered but smooth and comfortable.

Used to be. Sadly sold when the engine started knocking, lot of other stuff going on at the time and it really wasn't worth the cost of a rebuild.

California can usually give Florida a run in bizarre crazy s^%t.

Slight disagreement: The '01-'03 Windstars were a significant improvement over the previous generation in appearance, power (200hp), and interior room. They were plagued with the usual Ford electrical gremlins and possessed one of the worst transmissions ever made. Otherwise these would have been very good vans.

Depends, I'd have to know if they fixed some of the interior stuff that drives me insane with my '07 Fusion company car.

A lot of cities have public urination laws on the books for just this reason. Where they don't, decent cops will write you up as 'Disturbing the Peace'. No reason to ruin someone's life for taking a leak against a tire.

Even before clicking on the link, I knew this had to be in Florida or California.

Now this being Jalopnik, someone figure out what kind of car it is.

Not sure about badass, but it is cool as heck.

1939 Dodge truck

Even the turbo Regals are annoyingly expensive. Not like a GNX, but still pricey. I have a soft spot for the body style. My first car was a 1984 Cutlass.

The guy with the bowl of noodles in one hand and chopsticks in the other, presumably steering with a knee. He's been my favorite idiot for two weeks running. At least he was in a little windup Honda and not a Ford Excursion or something.

Okay, I drive a company car probably 1200 miles a week. Cell phones are a symptom, not the disease.

I can't believe I laughed at that. Yup, going to Hell.

You beat me to it.