I like to imagine that “this” is pooping, and “that” is peeing. Cause he’d be proud of his bodily functions like that.

Shark Week is reminding me of Friends, when Monica thinks Chandler has a shark fetish.

He had it to leer at the photo of Ivanka.

He also started a whole university...

20m is just about right. We should make it gory, too.

So did my dad, when we stopped at a small hut by the side of the road to buy water when I was around 8, and the man who owned tried to sell his 12-year-old daughter to him for cash right then and there as a sex slave, describing all the sex stuff she’d been trained to do.

Or freaking low for someone who eats 4 McD’s sandwiches at a time. It depends on how you look at it!

Brunettes from Estonia and Blondes from the Czech Republic are also welcome.

Groups and countries like say... the Russians? But he is already in their pocket. The only thing they’d change if they knew he was about to stroke out (which, since Putin has eyes, I believe he already knows...) is to make sure to put Pence in their pocket too, just in case.

Well, people thought McCain wouldn’t survive a term... he sure showed us by still being alive right now. Then again, he survived being a POW while Trump won’t survive 2h without a Diet Coke, so there is a difference in toughness levels there.

If he is normal for an obese 71-year-old, it means he is full of comorbidities like high blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar, poor circulation, and signs of heart disease so that is like the opposite of healthy.

I read your comment in Dr. Zoidberg’s voice and it was excellent.

Not at all.

Excuse me, signing those Sea.org contracts where Scientology owns you for a billion years is totally legal because it is done in international waters. That is how international waters work, pfft.

Can’t you just claim you brought a non-corporeal gift, to match the groom?

Wendy Williams is very offended right now.

I think we are all feeling the cringey smile on the brunette with the bangs.

Nobody told him to dye his hair yellow, though.

You mean when his hair looked like ramen?

And Janet is also rich and famous so you know, uppity.