@SuddenImpact: "FACT: there are tons of preservatives in their food"

Eye bleach, please.

@haodamao: Ooohh... I need this.

@nitespark99: I do not have it backwards. I own two 12 gauges, a Benelli M3 and a Winchester SX3, and a 20 gauge.

That pistol is WAY too big for 28 gauge shells. Call me when there's a 12 gauge model. XD

@deez BOOTS were made for stompin: Nice try, Bill.

Oh my god... That's so fucking sad. I can't say anything else about this.

@swenson: Oh snap.

That's a lot of weed...

@CaptainCalypso: GLACIERS MELTING IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT!

Honestly, semen has an alluring musky smell that I rather enjoy.

But is it a conduit of Mana?

Failing attendance? EVERY RACE I've been to is PACKED. PACKED. And NASCAR's a good time if you're there for the right reasons. (Getting ripped and shouting over engines. :P)

I AM BUYING ONE OF THESE.

@heartagram_ben: Yes it does.

@bygeorge: Beautiful little thing.

@ThePhysician: Watch "Borat." XD

I was there last night. Don't judge me. XD

Bob Barr ate it once.

@collectiveego: That's just it. I don't have to do it right with this phone. There's room for error.