Oh geez. The guy is a deadbeat dad, registered sex offender, holocaust denier, misogynist, tax cheat, and a meth dealer, but when he wants to follow the Word of God, all of a sudden he's Anti-Gay Bill.

"Youre hung up on some clown from the sixties, man!"

No kidding. It should totally be illegal to alter the terms of a binding contract.

"All the -isms and -phobias cease to exist when you fail to notice."

His all-time favorite player? Paw Molitor.

The Houston Astros have put in a trade offer due to Hank's peerless ability to take a dump in right field.

I'm usually not a vengeful guy, but as a true American, today I really hate: 1) Canada; 2) its President; 2) its 10 states; 3) its 3 colonies; 4) its capital, Toronto; 5) the fact that they drive on the left side of the road, like idiots; and especially 7) Justin Bieber

Our best chance ever at exacting revenge for the War of 1812 and this happens. Unbelievable. Never forget, though.

What is this? Amateur hour? This list was obviously created by an idiot. Seriously, how can you have Pepe ahead of Thiago Silva at 132? Pathetic! Or Domenico Criscito ahead of not only Olivier Giroud, but Giulio Donati as well? Unreal. Don't even get me started on Jaun Mata over Yaya Toure! And Tiago ahead of…

Best dribblers, ranked:

All I can spell is BRONZE MEDAL

"Zero."

Reporter: Hey Alex, just one last question- when you were out there, were you thinking about your recently deceased brother?

Staring at them is a bad idea though

The streets of Sochi really are strewn with litter.