The worst part is that he didn't even have fun.

Agreed!

Goodman went further, slamming Wiggins's interviewing skills (he seemed nervous, or uninterested), and then asked various anonymous NBA sources what they thought of the Canadian LeBron. One said he wasn't blown away,

Downie said it was worth it, and making personal sacrifices is part of being on a team.

Whooaaaa. A joke about Philly sports fans. That's the fresh new perspective we are looking for. You should contact Deadspin about maybe writing for them. Maybe you could do some articles in slideshow form.

... so I pointed my thumbs at myself, and said, "THIS GUY!"

I'm working on it. I still need to come up with an awesome "Hanging Chadron" joke too.

Good points. I just have one question.

Apparently a real Schiano man deletes comments when people tell him his joke stinks.

The problem is that your joke is not funny. A Schiano man joke can still be funny, but you need to execute it. You need to add some sort of hyperbole or exaggeration to your joke. The phrase that follows "Schiano man" needs to be funny. Yours isn't funny. There's nothing funny about the phrase "always has his…

When the 2003 Hanshin Tigers won the Central League, a group of drunken Japanese men lifted me up in the air and chanted "Randy Bass!"

But babies hate timeouts.

Are you going to post a picture of them?

I was jarred by that too.

I feel pretty confident that the rest of the top 5 is

Ugh.

Ballgame over. Tabby's win! THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Tabby's win!

Can we please now stop with the lazy stereotyping of Philly fans as boorish thugs?

That's brilliant.

Just look how respectful to the game Beltran was. Obviously he has learned this showboating from the Cardinals.