When "shut off" day finally arrived, we were prepared to sadly farewell the monument as is smashed to the ground.

Every time there's an article about something bad happening to Syfy, I can't help but feel some schaedenfreude. This is a network that not only cut the programming that was its sole purpose, but doubled-down on that by claiming that the name "Sci-Fi" was too "nerdy" and was driving viewers away. I'm positively giddy…

Good thing there's plenty of BWAAAANH. I'd been feeling like we weren't getting enough BWAAANH these days.

It's pancakes, Rock! It's pancakes!

Who's Lori and what are we talking about and what is this response based on? Buh?

Do you smell what Gigi is cookin?

From what I understand, Reynolds wasn't really a DP fan until his previous role in a nameless Marvel film, but completely fell in love with the character afterwards (and during). His involvement seems as natural as Jackman as Wolverine and RDJ as Tony Stark, but takes it a step beyond because he seems to honestly want…

Love the slippers.

Duh, because it's base.

That's hilarious. That's why you stay at the pump as long as it takes, man.

I'm married to a cop. The gas station one? I did a ride-along with her, and this exactly what happened. She pulled to the shoulder and said, "We're going to pull someone over." I say "Who?" thinking she has spotted someone. "I don't know yet, but I will." A few seconds pass, and she said, "Watch the gas station. If…

I did a couple of years in prison for drug stuff. You would think that walking out of the prison a free man was the most liberating feeling I have ever had. Incorrect. The most liberated I have ever felt is when, after 6 years of doing some combination of all of these things listed EVERY TIME I DROVE THE CAR, I…

In New York State, the paint on the older blue and white plates beginning with "E" have a tendency to flake off due to their inability to tolerate the ridiculous winter weather. I have a set in my garage right now waiting to become a future art project. Lots of these plates are flat-out illegible, day or night. …

Yeah, this was a big oopsie for me about 15 years ago. Fresh out of college, completely forgot to renew my tabs after the first year. I left a happy hour with coworkers (no drinking for me- poor college grad, I had an appetizer and tipped on that) and pulled out of the parking lot. It was a cold October evening, but I…

how to get away with broken turn signals:

I've always found that registering my car helps keep me out of this kind of trouble.

Can't hurt to try, pal (THESE STATEMENTS HAVE NOT BEEN EVALUATED BY AN AUTHORITY AND SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED LEGAL ADVICE—PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK).

Gas Stations Are "Base" in the Game of "Dump a Tail."

I made it almost five years with expired tags, and this article is a much-more-complete-and-significantly better-written version of advice I would give. Got pulled over for a freaking taillight. I told the cop I had just gotten the car running again and was trying to make it to payday so I could register it. He let…