Man, the New York Post has totally plagiarized this article.

Amphetamines and amphetamine-like drugs make you as horny as hell. It's an indescribable feeling. You have to have sex, must have sex. And if you can't get it, why you'd fuck a furry button hole if there was one available. If you end up on your own, and you're high enough, you'll do the weirdest things to yourself to…

Well, picture the scenario. You're in the midst of a wild night of Ecstasy. You're incredibly high and you have a huge desire to get higher. The problem is, your stomach feels like it could come up at any minute. E has a tendency to make your gut feel extremely volatile and sensitive. Taking another pill at this point…

Just as a reminder: a college education does not mean you necessarily have good judgment, and most certainly does not equate to "wisdom," political or otherwise. Good judgment and wisdom are qualities which are obtained by a combination of good genes, good parenting, a keen sense of observation, and ultimately, a…

ZING!

That's because you're petty.

All of those ergonomic keyboards are as ugly as fuck. I used to have one. And while it was undoubtedly comfortable to type on for extended periods, in the end I got rid of it because it just depressed me every time I looked at it. It just ruins all of the neat lines and right angles on your desk. Not that I have OCD…

I bought an Energizer LED flashlight after the storm, basically because it was the only battery operated light I could find in New York (and I walked about 10 miles looking). It's a tiny little thing that TRULY fits in a jeans pocket. But it was strong enough to light my whole living room (not quite to read…

It's a pity we didn't get to see the hidden camera version, in which the TWU workers take turn to sleep in the tunnel while a few of them work, all on double time of course. There's a reason why the MTA raises fares every year and it now costs me $104 for a monthly pass as opposed to around $75 in 2003.

You wouldn't get me near an electricity substation during a flood again. Especially not that close. I was 3 blocks away from the Con Edison substation in Manhattan when it blew and I almost crapped myself. Like a bomb going off. What added to the general feeling of terror was that the streets were immediately plunged…

Everyone wants everything to be cheaper. That really has no bearing on whether or not they're a lazy fuckwit. It's a different issue. But while we're on the subject of higher education, I think the great myth is that a degree is somehow a guaranteed passport to a better life. It's not. The ambition and attitude of the…

Unfortunately there was always going to come a time when the moochers and scroungers and general lazy-fuckwits-who-want-something-for-free crowd would tip the demographic balance. From that point forward the candidate who promises these scumbags the most free shit will always win. All you can do is vow to do as much…

True. Democracy without a Constitution is nothing more than mob rule.

Shouldn't that be "you lacist bastard"?

I just looked out my window in New York. Trees almost snapping, airborne traffic cones, torrential rain. Then along comes a Chinese deliveryman on a pushbike, his handlebars laden with takeaway bags. New fuckin' York! If he can deliver noodles in this, then what's the problem with getting these poor souls their…

What a sub-human looking moron, I bet it had the IQ of around 80/90 or so.

Those who use their PC's for audio production should know that Windows 8 is giving better performance with audio DAW's and their associated plugins, etc. Lower latency, less CPU usage....

Careful with the old lady you communist bastards.

Because remember kids, electric light - and all of those other things which dragged us out of the dark ages and improved human life immeasurably - is BAD and you're VERY VERY NAUGHTY for using it. If you want to read, light a freaking candle. But remember, the manufacturing process of the lenses you'll eventually have…

Ridiculous. You're basically redefining the word "art" so that it can encompass anything you like. OK, so a refrigerator repair man is an artist. A stock broker is an artist. The guy who knows what all the wires in a signal box do is an artist. Talented? Certainly. But artists? Of course not!