Am I the only one disturbed by the apparent lack of nipples on the vagina-laser girl? She looks like Anime Barbie. Which also makes me question question if there is, in fact, a vagina embedded in that suspiciously smooth mound between her legs, and if there isn't, then where is the laser coming from?

I think we must be long-lost twins. Friends compare me to Penelope Garcia from Criminal Minds, and Ruth Evershed from the BBC series MI-5/Spooks.

What is 'Sparkle New Version" and why did Snoop Dogg watch it?

Are the mad clapping asses donkeys or bums?

As a Canadian, I'm required by federal statute to insist that we won.

The War of 1815? No wonder you guys lost, you were late! That war started in 1812!

Is that Sarah Jessica Parker in the ridiculous mohawk hairpiece?

I know! The one at my salon who hand-cuts where everyone else would use a trimmer is named...Fabio! And he learned from his father, at his father's barber shop.

I saw those JC Penney ads on telly, and as a Canadian my response was "Huh? The only thing I remember was the ridiculous foofaraw (I totally had to look up how to spell that) over Ellen DeGeneres being in commercials." Can a kindly American explain? (I could look it up, but a Jezebel commenter explanation is likely to…

Yeah, I'm ridiculously resistant to anything that is supposed to make you sleep. And I can nap after a cup of coffee.

Celexa+Seroquel+Diphenhydramine Hydrochloride+Melatonin+a small glass of Sherry.

1,700 beds? Really? That seems like a ridiculously large number.

As an adoptee, I can't imagine the trauma of being yanked away from the only parents I know, the parents who have always loved me, to be given to a birth father who was quite willing to abandon me and my birth mother.

I'm confused, because I though Njoy made really high-end dildos?

Am I the only one whose brain goes Brandi Glanvile—>Glans—>Penishead?

I love the idea of a library cat, but for some of us it isn't as easy as 'take a Benadryl'. It's 'take a handful of various antihistamines and decongestants, hope that some of them actually work this time, and wonder which will cause us to pass out first: the drugs, or the lack of oxygen cause by the allergy-induced…

I'm so glad they have this for when you take photos. Because how often has an ugly anus ruined a perfectly lovely photograph?

And when Mary and Laura collected all those Indian beads, and made necklaces, Mary was all selfless and gave hers to the baby, so Laura felt she had to do the same. I always thought that was so unfair! Since when is it virtuous to give something you love and worked hard for to someone else, especially a baby who could…

I find the idea of chopping off the labia minora to comply with porn standards kinda weird, since in the porn I've seen, it's the labia majora that look to me like they've had liposuction. Teeny-tiny outer labia, so that the clit protrudes. Which makes me all insecure about my fat labia majora!

Yeah, and then you get Egon Schiele spilling his paint all over the living room floor, and do you have any idea how hard it is to clean oil paint when it's mixed with ectoplasm?