Ginger gender-flipped Matthew McConaughey is the hero we need AND deserve.

Glad to hear this. The whole "LOL, what wacky, embarrassing thing will the obviously mentally ill person do NEXT???" bit was gross even by tabloid standards.

Also, please dump the "black people, all of whom are going to be 100% forthcoming with my white ass about what makes them uncomfortable, said they were fine with it" trope (lookin' at you too, Papa Duck or whatever your name is), put it in the trunk of a car and drive it off a bridge.

White people with blackface are pretty much Veruca Salt. When you're used to pretty much the entirety of our culture catering to you at the expense of everyone else, of course you're gonna throw a hissy when you're told something is off-limits.

Lord, he's going to be insufferable tonight. At least it'll be early.

Responding to a satirist with harrumphy self-importance typically goes really, really well.

Jeepers, Robin Thicke can't take a hint re: whether or not a woman's interested in him. My socks just flew off my feet and into the wall and left two sock-shaped holes in the drywall because that's so surprising.

"Ricky van Veen" sounds like a fake name either Fletch or Roger the Alien would use.

His o-face is just his normal expression with one eyebrow quizzically raised.

I think part of the show's problem is that it seems like it's making deliberate points about masculinity and the disposability of women, but I can't tell if it's just being really subtle about it or if I'm just seeing what I want to see. Like, for example, in the most recent episode, we see Marty buying a ridiculous…

I'm struck by how every reason they list could also be said of most non-physical punishments. Not struck hard enough to bruise, though.

"I can't listen to your message because you're too angry and swear a lot."

And at the same time, it totally made sense as the only thing that would be consistently coming in in rural Kentucky. Made it easier to stand.

Lorde was great on True Detective.

"I'm gonna write SO MANY SONGS ABOUT THOSE BITCHES, and they'll never even KNOW, because I'm so subtle about it!"

Nick Searcy is a massive part of Justified if you watch it primarily for the grade A Elmore Leonardian snark like I do, which is why this makes me so sad.

"It's not MY fault, I just didn't do any research at all on my campaign surrogate, DUH."

I'm really glad people are having to Sister Soulja him over the "mongrel" thing, because that's one of the most explicitly racist things he's ever said (when I say "one of," I mean "one of"), but it's kind of depressing that him being an admitted kid-fiddler and threatening to rape a woman on TV didn't already make…

I hope to God the Gay Department of Justice never investigates the Gay Mafia, because then the Gay Mafia will have Gay JFK killed to send a message and our nation will lose its gay innocence.

I'll give you that. And I have a similar level of contempt for someone who's apparently a professional writer who can't even be bothered to correctly spell the dumb nickname of the person he's disparaging.