Biblical.

Day 0: Make an anti-mask tweet

Who hasn’t yelled ‘pizza’s here’ over your shoulder because you don’t need that judgement from the delivery person that the large is just for you?!

In related news: single woman have been recording answering machine or voicemail messages stating “WE can’t come to the phone right now...” for so long many of you don’t have an answering machine and never did. 

“and a recent Windows update locks this browser into your OS even more.”

1) Attempt to scroll the first page. 2) Hit the bottom and think something wrong happened with the page loading. 3) Realize it’s yet another one of these beloved unnecessary galleries. 4) Click Print to be able to read the whole article in a traditional format. 5) Click fast to the end to comment (or reply to a…

A small cast iron skillet is the best meat mallet I’ve ever used.

This is the only relevant answer.

As long as someone isn’t trying to pull into the spot on the other side it is totally fine.

Do you people not know that there is a perforated opening in the box of cans that allows you to lay them on their side and they roll out to you as you need them?

Like are we not all doing this?

Here’s a great Unethical Life Pro Tip: Since the cowards at G/O Media have suspended comments at Deadspin, come on over to Lifehacker to tell Jim Spanfeller what a horrible piece of shit he is. Fuck you, Jim, you spineless waste of space!

Pro tip: the best leafblower is emailing the nutsacks at G/O who are pushing auto play videos and ads (g-omediafeedback@googlegroups.com) and telling them how bad they are at their jobs.

Pro tip: the best leafblower is emailing the nutsacks at G/O who are pushing auto play videos and ads…

Is Evil Week behind the decision for autoplay videos and ads my Chrome can’t stop from playing?

> Shave between showering and getting dressed.

No, shave IN the shower, unless you have fancy facial hair that needs precision cutting.

I use an electric shaver to trim the only part of my face for which I need accuracy (sideburns), then wet-shave in the shower. It is much, MUCH easier than shaving over a sink. You…

I mean who wouldn’t dap up Reggie Bush? To go from High School straight to the NFL after a few years of not playing is an amazing feat.

+1 bells & smells

Ah, the fake kneel. That’s the move elderly or overweight Catholics do at church where they just scoot their ass a little closer to the edge of the pew so they don’t have to struggle to get back up.

(music theory joke incoming) Too bad all the Jets’ harmonies of late are based around m2, M7, A4, and d5 dissonances.