If you think white supremacists have valid points I'm doubting how progressive you really are. 

Denouncing racism and bigotry unequivocally ≠ talking about politics

Fired for being too Barstool.

One time in the Dominican Republic...

The frosty beer you pull out of the cooler first thing in the morning when camping?  That’s good MGD.

Screwdrivers and Greyhounds don’t count as drinking early in the day.  They’re civilized breakfast drinks, part of a complete breakfast in fact.

It’s a lawless zone where social norms can touch you. I’d go as far as to say that the elusive pre-9am, pre-vacation beer is one of the more Elite Beers in existence.

you try keeping down a St. Louis style pizza

I’d say 50% has been about my experience as well. I generally sit aisle and will almost always feel around for the button, but I find I am very often unsuccessful.

Not all planes have this. In my experience, around 50% do, globally, actually. In addition, the button isn’t always at the back of the underside. Sometimes it’s near the front or half way back. You really have to feel around for it. Occasionally, it’s also inset into the arm itself. Glad you brought up this for the…

Food and soda in a gym. Do you want Morants? Because that's how you get Morants.

To be fair, Ozzy and Bill are also from Aston and Tony’s from Handsworth - which is next shithole over!

My first thought when they won was “Good for Geezer!”

Right. It’s also objectively correct moral advice. All you have to do is decide which you care more about, you own sense of morals or your investment portfolio. 

I told my son, none of the people you look up to in life (mostly professional baseball players) smoke weed.

That dude’s right had a lot of mustard behind it.  The other guy went down like a tomato can.  

If you regularly video chat your gf where your presumably male roommates have the opportunity for shenanigans, you’re gonna get shenanigans.

Hot take: The roommate’s reaction to the pun guy was 100% warranted. 

I can’t be the only one relieved not to find myself in there.

Brandon:
He liked to strip near-naked in the background while I was video-chatting my girlfriend.