...keeps the disfigured son chained up in the attic.

These are the hand washing signs at Disney World, brought to you by the fine people at Brawny. If it wasn't for Brawny, I'm certain I would have wiped my hands on the shirt of the nubile 19 year old waiting for a fast pass at Space Mountain. Thanks Brawny, for keeping me from becoming a Level III sex offender! Now…

Tiger Woods Shows That Ass That He Owns

I thought Major League Baseball destroyed all the shots from their iff-fated experiment "Puckett Cam".

Chris Mullin And Dan Shulman Tried On Memphis Dry Rub, Looked Delicious

Even Rodney knows you go to Soup Plantation after a loss.

Gus Johnson Is Washed! Up!

Dear Brendan McNamee,

Things got a little awkward when Kobe asked Gronk if he wanted to go back to his room and recreate the famous scene from Flashdance.

[Breaks 9 Iron over knee]

Not to be outdone, Mikhail Prokhorov is also building a suite just for Vladimir Putin: "The Vault Under Barclays Center"

All I know is that they better be the finest shimmering metallics in all of France.

It was just a box sitting in the middle of a strip mall parking lot.

Sure, women think Luol's pet name for his genitalia is cute, but his special order condoms take it just a little too far.

I guarantee you this, if Willie McGinest, Tedy Bruschi, Larry Izzo, Richard Seymour or myself had been at that party...

The coach joked that his penis was beginning to look like a rainbow.

Well, the shot of Madonna's crotch did make me feel like shooting myself.

Which prompted, naturally, a pistol-whipping.

Hey, Michigan: Illinois Will Show You Their Athletic Director’s Contract If You Show Them Yours

Memphis is in "the final stages of negotiations"