To the GOP I say, “You fuckers have been making this bed since 1980 and now you get to sleep in it. Welcome to your slow, inevitable decline into obscurity and may you continue to forget that Democrats can vote, too.”

What about Kotex?

Good. Now, what can we do about removing his name from buildings in our great cities? How do we get people to remove the letters?

Her and NBC can kiss my ass with all of these empty ass concerns. Where was all of this when he was asking for Obama’s birth certificate? Where was this concern will he was talking shit about Muslims? People are acting like Trump was a good dude until just a few days ago. This is how you know we’re in presidential…

A doofus dumb enough to think that transferring millions of dollars willy nilly from bank account to bank account wouldn’t draw the attention of authorities

Plus Jenny McCarthy, and Oprah (who gave platforms to her and Dr. Oz and has been a mouthpiece for so much pseudoscientific bullshit that I have zero respect for her at this point).

It doesn’t bother me when they try to write comments about how ugly my kids are, because they are exceptionally beautiful and anyone can see that.

Remember back when anti-vaxers were just a few misinformed hippies that no one took seriously?

This might be an explanation for hoarding too. Something pushes people to be in a constant survival state that encourages them to hold onto basically everything they see.

“There are some people here who think they are more pious than thou. If you’re pious, open a church, friends. Our business is our business.”

It reminders me of an old Dennis the Menace episode where Mr. Wilson thought his new neighbors were in the mob.

Ray McDonald was arrested without incident

What is the cause of death for these people? Heat? Disease? Accidents? Or all of those things..

Every single story about these guys. Every single story.

Abortion: It really brings out your inner child.

Everyone knows that the SECOND a sperm hits our egg, angels begin singing and a magical glow shoots out of our vaginas.

An artist's depiction of Lily's editor hanging out in this comments section

Just a little hiccup that came out of editorial review, all good now.

"Instead, it'll be in the winter, when temperatures rarely get out of the 70s."

Tax the shit out of the boatloads of Bolivian Marching Powder floating into the Port of Miami on a daily basis and they'll have that shit paid off in 4 or 5 days.